The one thing that really kept me up at night after finding out that I was pregnant with our first (and would be ONLY) son was the fact that he would have three older sisters as his playmates. I plagued Alfred with questions, "What if his sisters were watching a Disney princess movie? Would he not be allowed to watch with them? What if he wanted to play with their dolls? What if they dressed him up in their princess costumes?? What if? What if? What if?" And what about me? I don't know anything about playing with boy toys. I grew up with two sisters - all I know is Barbies, baby dolls, and doll houses. What the heck do you do with dumptrucks? Trains? I can barely throw a ball straight. I don't have an athletic bone in my body.
Because I worried so much, I think Alfred has done his best to take everything in stride. When Jacob was a baby, we could even laugh about it. Now that Jacob is a year and a half, Alfred's patience is starting to run thin. Alfred does not find it even remotely amusing anymore. It frustrates him. It frustrates me that it frustrates him because I don't know what to do about it. If Jacob spends 100% of his waking moments with Katelyn and all he ever sees is Katelyn playing with dolls, Littlest Pet Shop, My Little Pony or Barbies then naturally that is what he will want to do too, right? If he never sees anyone playing with trucks, cars or trains then how would he find any of that interesting?
I tried last night. Oh, how I tried. I busted out the yellow dump trucks and all the other little trucks... I don't even know what they are called. One pushes the dirt around, one scoops up the dirt. I threw some of Katelyn's seashells into the back of the dump truck and ("Look, Jacob! Yay!") let the truck dump it all out. Then I took the other trucks and tried to show Jacob, "Look! Let's push the shells around! Come on! Let's get it all back into the truck!" All the while, Jacob sat in my lap and couldn't tear his eyes away from Katelyn who was playing My Little Pony at the other end of the room. After a short while, he just got up from my lap, walked over to his sister and snatched the pony she was playing with away from her. My mission failed.
My friends reassure me all the time that Jacob will grow out of it. My question is... HOW will he know to grow out of it? How will he learn to prefer boy toys over girl toys when there is no one to show him?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
The Joke's Over
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5 comments:
Oh boy... I can see how that can be frustrating. You and Alfred are waiting and have been waiting for Jacob to do anything remotely resembling a "boy thing." Since Ryland was our first child, we had absolutely nothing to compare him to. We were just waiting to see when he'd actually start showing interest in anything. When Ryland was Jacob's age he was all about "pretend play." Cooking was his favorite. Now that's neither a boy or a girl thing, although, my dad would argue that it's totally girl. Ryland didn't start really getting into "boy" stuff like cars, trucks, planes, building stuff only to knock it down until he was 2. Patience... Play with anything he wants to play with and if he wants to play with My Little Pony, try incorporating the trucks to go with it. Like transport My Little Pony in a dump truck or something like that. I think he's still too young to say he doesn't play like a boy. Hang in there!
What's that old saying? Resist and persist.
He's too young to worry about a gender preference for toys. Believe me, they older they get, the more pressure to conform to what we consider "appropriate" gender behavior. He's just a baby still.
I have two boys, so that means the youngest grew up with an older brother and saw lots of boy toys. Do you know what he asked for for Xmas last year when he was 5? A baby doll. So there you go. We bought it for him, of course.
My BF has a son the same age with an older sister. He plays dress up with his sister's Princess clothes. And he's ok too.
It will all work out and he'll be all over Legos and Hot Wheels before you know it.
Thanks for the reassuring words, Jae and Heather. I feel horrible for obsessing over it so much. It really isn't as big a deal as I'm making it out to be, right? I guess it's just tough when I see Alfred being bothered by it. And it's hard for Alfred since he grew up with all brothers and mostly boy cousins. It doesn't seem "natural" for him to see his son playing with girl stuff since none of them ever did. Patience, breath, patience. That's the key.
I can certainly your frustration. I think until he's a bit older, he may just be interested in "toys" or whatever kids around him are playing with. Perhaps things will change once he has peers.
I wish I could give you some tips or reassurance, but I only have 1 girl :( But I will say that my hubby has FOUR sisters, and he is totally oblivious to all things girls. I think once he reached a certain age, he just shut out anything girlie.
I have one son and FOUR girls. He's in the middle, poor thing. When he was your sons age, he played with the girl toys, but when he hit about two, it took on a whole new level of fun....
He discovered the arms, legs, and heads could be ripped off. Even better, it made his sister fall to the floor crying. After that, he started trying to take EVERYTHING apart.
Don't worry, just let him play with what he wants, because the saying is true...boys will be boys!
:) Terri
PS He's a total pubescent (sp?) perv now, so no worries!
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