Perspective

Alfred attended a funeral yesterday for a friend that we lost to Luekemia. I only knew her through Alfred, as they used to work together, but on the occassions that we've had a chance to hang out, I had always found her to be a very nice person. She's a little older than us by a couple of years... had a husband and a little girl, about 3 years old.

Unfortunately, I couldn't attend the funeral. To be honest, I was a little afraid of going. I don't know if I could have handled seeing her little daughter say good-bye to her mommy for the last time. Alfred confirmed that it WAS the hardest part of the service. I'm tearing up right now just imagining it. I wasn't even there to witness it and it still makes me unbearably sad.

So then I start to think about how I've been feeling lately. A little disconnected from Alfred (which sometimes happens when we get busy with the day-to-day), a little short-tempered with the kids, a little lonely in general. I realized that instead of just stewing in these feelings, perhaps it's time to do something about it. Put forth a little more effort in repairing these negative feelings. I AM fortunate to be blessed with all that I have in my life and I should be more appreciative.

Last night, I met Alfred and the kids at Katelyn's halau and we had dinner after her hula practice. When we got home, instead of taking the kids straight upstairs to read my book while the kids watch TV and Alfred watches ESPN downstairs until HE falls asleep on the couch, I decided to hang out with my husband and listen to him play his ukelele and guitar (which I used to do way more often back in the day... and way not enough these days). He and I listened to music on my I-pod that he then tried to play on his guitar. Somehow Katelyn incorporated a pretend birthday party into what we were doing. Jacob would come over once in awhile to give us a play-by-play of the new episode of Yo Gabba Gabba that he was watching in the room next to ours (coincidentally, it was about: "FAMILY, mom!").

We had a nice night last night. I felt less disconnected, less short-tempered, less lonely... and a million times more blessed. I think Alfred felt the same. And when he asked me for a hug this morning before we left for work, that hug sure felt extra special. Sometimes it's all in the perspective.